Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
