the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i wish my penis had a tongue
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
