Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
