My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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