OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
