1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
