he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
