Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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