She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
