FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
