Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
