I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I came so hard my ears popped.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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