why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
