everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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