Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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