I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
