You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
