please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
