I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
