ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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