So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
