I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
