that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize