Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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