I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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