Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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