im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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