I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
