I want to have your abortion
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
