too bad you live with your parents still
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
