I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
