whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
