Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
