i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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