there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
