I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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