I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
