Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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