I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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