Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
