Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
