I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
A+ Viking dick
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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