i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I had to cum in my sink.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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