i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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