I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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