This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize