Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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