look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
