just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
