just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize