I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
