I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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