Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize