You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
