Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
