the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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