Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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