So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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