Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize