for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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