the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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