You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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