If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
