So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
