some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sorry my hands just texted you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
