I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
