I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
