If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
