I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
