The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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