I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
