the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
